don’t want to black something
I am black something
(don’t want anything else blacking me)
I don’t want to blues nothing
already blue in most beautiful, perfect shade
It would be freeing to mean the same
being black something
but it doesn’t mean the same
and wanting to is mental illness
in this brain or outside of body
I was peaceful
it don’t mean nothing
don’t even mean that
pause then advance
teetering cause I know…it’s going to leave another scar
tells me so but I’m moved to twist
feel cool then hot
rubbing sores of reminiscing
melting a buttered soul
then not but I press hypnotized before the tour
brown ball of cub in the warmth of purrs
while the vice is minutes bracing
threatening a medium grip getting tighter
before the darkness becomes larger
missing it yet nearing regression
melody of striking malevolence…bellowing
though split it taunts, pleading for my returns
stands in the door as an enduring acquaintance
with pain on my face I bite my lip
and I burn because I need to get by
Art by Ty Moore
In a period where teenagers and younger people have less and less regard for their parents or their advice, I am full on grown and listen to everything mama utters.
She says, “I don’t like your hair that color” and whatever the color is presently has got to change. She says, “Why don’t you wear more fitted cloths” and I start looking for something to hug my hips.
I have consciously listened to my mother since the age of twelve. She threw the perfect sentence at me to prevent me from getting pregnant at an early age when she said, “You know how much pain you’re in at that time of the month? Well- pregnancy pain is three times worse than that”.
That was all she had to say. To this day I don’t have any children but then I don’ have a husband either, (We’re not trying to rush that-J). Those words have never stopped anyone…except me.
The only explanation there could be for my listening to her from such a young age is she has always appeared ahead of her time. She’s has always been young and I saw her as fun loving, smart and in control. She was good for all of her siblings maintaining a special relationship with each of us. She was the mother of all mothers’ and she never steered me wrong.
Therefore, if she approached me today with a shade of lipstick and eye shadow that it never occurred to me to put on my face. I trust if applied I’mma take one glance in the mirror and know I am the M A C dime piece it was always meant for me to be and remember… I’m long grown.
I am making it a goal- as I manage to include it most of the time but not as much as I should. If I eat food everyday then I should also take the time feed the mind and heart as well.
That way I don’t run around here thinking it is ok for people not to like me due to a bad attitude or that it’s forward thinking to be angry, not caring about the feelings of others. Now I can’t help ones personal feelings about me when there is no cause for it but I do care about reputation as one who has dedicated themselves to being a servant.
As a servant it is important to care about how I present myself as GOD’s admonishment is to watch how we walk. I have to care about loving my enemies without worrying about whether that love is returned as long as I’m doing my part in, “putting on the new person or man”, (Ephesians 4:24, And put on the new man, to which God has given life, in righteousness and a true and holy way of living.- Basic English Bible).
According to the scripture this person or man is something I need to slip into everyday. If we advocate the Bible we know that love is the greatest commandment, (Matthew 22:36-40New International Version (NIV). 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” If I respect my spiritual needs, busy about feeding it then there is no room for hate or the entertainment of it.
I’m a girl, woman
choosing to accept the challenge of
the environment lower than me
so thank you GOD for making me a human being
from this box there will build a sky scrapper to dreams
taking a stray hand along in opportunity
moving turbulent to an upward situation
from this box the travel widens, spilling forth
stretching from where I sit while on the outside
it may continue looking like four restricting corners
right now this is where I live…temporarily
but one day expansion, taking on greater illustrative directions
more sketches in the road , more undiscovered designers,
from within this box climbing higher reaching a pinnacle seam
not surpassing the GLORY that started it all
but the glory of these four walls
within the confined studio being patient
because it was taught, it had to be taught
not to remain still, get up no matter quantity of falls
to make enough noise, blowing tops off
then no amount of restraints or close quarters will dictate how far
I can be tall
forward to blanketed ink ribbon, stars strewn
staring frank into heaven until weightless…floating as attractively contained helium
turning a cup of visions into something to render on sheets
I am coupling with the moon alright
using shut eyelids to imagine what I soon aim to touch
littering sky ways replacing matters that should be attached
to the tail of a proud winged creature…released on careless flight
Oh yes… a rendezvousing tonight